Saving our world of self recoqnitions


“Thanking Mom on each Birthday…”

baby's thought


It was all came to me at midnight of my 30th birthday 2 years ago. Just like any other birthday, that day was gonna be my “big day”. A birthday dinner with my girlfriends (special event each year). A private family party (as always), the biggest hug from my precious children, the most special gift of all. Alone that night, I was trying  to memorize every single memorable moments within 30 years of living. Thinking how I no longer a teenager, how I should really trying and behave myself (be a grown up for God sake!) How I should accepting the new era of my life. For me that was the official point. Then it suddenly hit me! 30 years ago, in the morning, there was my mum holding on to her very pregnant belly, called out to my dad how she might be having her first contractions. She knew I was coming. My father urged her to go as fast as possible but she preferred to wait a little longer while doing some house works and make some preparations for my 1,5 years old sister she was about to leave for mother’s nature call. Not until the unbearable pain occurred she walked her way out to the midwive’s (neighbour) house across the street approximately 30meters from their rented house. I can imagine the anxious and concerned face of my father welcoming his baby boy (he wished..). Crossed in my imagination how my mother suffered while struggling in pain for her baby to come into this world. By the time I finnaly arrived, the midwive said “It’s another girl!” (imagine how my father expression to that!). Not quite what they were expecting she thought, but she exhaled in such a relieved, thanking God for such a strenght He gave her. Then she looked at her newly born baby for the very first time and thinked to herself “what a beautiful baby girl…” I must handed to her (and all mothers in the world) “THAT WAS ONE HARDCORE EXPERIENCE!”. So that night, in the middle of the night. Just before my big event of the year, I cried. Before all the celebrations and excitement in life, all congratulations (even from my very own mother) I thought to myself “how come no one congratulate the very person” who brought me into this world?? Why?? I guess it’s all because “MOTHER’S LOVE IS AS LONG AS THE RIVER AND AS WIDE AS AN OCEAN”. Not even once they asked for even the simplest appreciation, just hope and prayers for their baby well being and happiness. So for me, my very own birthday is the official date of MOTHER’S DAY. And at every birthdays to come, the very first thing I’m going to do before all of the excitements, is by expressing my gratitude and my deepest appreciation to my mum by claiming the day as MY VERY OWN MOTHER’S DAY. A simple THANK YOU and the warmest hug of her own flesh and blood would bring her the world.


“You’re not Adam, stop using his phrase..”

among  the others

among the others

“If it was not for the man missing rib, there will be no woman..” one guy remarked.
What a powerful expression to be used by man, so I thought.

The line stuck inside my head for quite sometimes now, try to figure out the true meaning of women existence and why does it had to be men’s rib?
Does men proven to be one rib short?

After doing days of thinking and some research, I finally found the answer.
That both men and women are having the same number of ribs.
And the next time any men should ever used that remark on me, I would sincerely reply,

“Hello, if it wasn’t for Adam’s rib there’ll be none of us.
Evidently, even if there is no you, there’ll always be me..”
The remark work solely work for Adam himself, not to every man…

So for every men out here who obviously came into this world through his mother womb,

“Please, give it up already.
You’re not Adam, stop using his phrase.

Women are not taken out of your rib cage.
Why not thank Mom instead?”

“Menghitung Mundur..”

a disney watch

a disney watch

Di awali dengan proses kelahiran, pertumbuhan dan bertambahnya kepintaran seorang bayi dari hari ke hari, bulan ke bulan, tahun ke tahun… Tanpa disadari bahwa sejak awal pertama kehidupan itu dimulai di dunia ini, telah dimulai juga hitung mundur itu. We are counting down our days…

I know someone that is recently being diagnosed with terminal cancer, she is now only have a couple months to live. And yet she told her children not to mess with her system, to let everything work as it should. She knows she’s in a good hand, she’s ready and prepared herself until her departure day is final…

I once watched a documentary of a 28 years old lady with terminal cancer saying, ” We’re all going to die eventually…mine is because of cancer. And yours..?!?”

My son was only 7 when he found out how man will grow old and to eventually die. He was chocked on his words by saying, “But mom, I don’t want to die…!” How to explain our children that we have brought them into this world on an undefinitely contract..? Already I’m feeling the guilt…

I’ve been thinking about life, and just couldn’t let go of questioning man existences. Why are we even here
for the first place? Why can’t we love one another without any expectations? I know the Lord is perfect and good…and still the ungrateful thought beneath kept on yearning on questioning Him. I wish for some humanity softwares to be purchased in this world, within our heart to be installed. I realized I’ve been asking to many questions my head is spinning…

And I hope to learn to be grateful, embrace each seconds in life as a gift from heaven and create my own heaven on earth. To be alert of any upcoming events in life and act wiser in making any decisions. For we are sinners whom obligated to redeem ourselves, because it is what it is, there’s nothing you can do to change destiny…But then again, who am I to say these things..??